Beneath The Surface
by TheReaperXSophie
Summary: Songfic. Axel's words from beyond the darkness. Slight reference to AkuRoku.


**Disclaimer: ****I own nothing. The song used in this piece is called Beneath The Surface by the band Dream Theater. All lyrics belong to them. I have however changed the odd word or so just to fit the piece. Kingdom Hearts belongs to Square Enix and Disney. Enjoy :) xx**

A Kingdom Hearts Songfic

Beneath The Surface

-Lyrics in **bold-**

Hello Roxas. Can you hear me? I hope you can.

**Is there ever really a right time?**

I'm saying this to you from beyond the darkness. I know, kinda crazy, right? How's the next life treating you? Much better than mine, I bet. Better to be stuck inside someone than to not exist anymore, you know what I'm saying? Anyway, I digress.

**You had led me to believe, someday you'd be there for me,**

What happened, Roxas? In the time I was blessed to know you, you changed so much. Remember your first week? You were such a zombie, ha ha. Then, as the days passed, I felt so much closer to you. Heck, you were my best friend, Roxy.

**When the stars above aligned, when you weren't so consumed,**

Despite my lack of heart, I managed to love you. The feeling was so new, so alien to me. It compelled me; the tightness of my chest, the butterflies skittering in my stomach, the words trapped in my throat. How I longed to hold you, longed to be near you always. I often wondered whether you felt the same.

**I kept looking for clues,**

It appeared not. So I assumed that your feelings would grow. Ha, feelings. We're not supposed to have them. Why was I different? I hoped that maybe you'd get them too.

**So I waited in the shadows of my heart, and still, the time was never right,**

But they never came. You didn't learn to love me.

**Then one day you stopped caring,**

**And began to forget why I longed to be so close,**

**And I disappeared into the darkness,**

**And the darkness turned to pain, and never went away,**

**Until all that remained, was buried,**

**Deep beneath the surface,**

The Organization was your main concern. You were consumed by it. Xion, in particular. You were infatuated with her, I could see it in your crystal blue eyes. Fourteenth member of an Organization of thirteen. Then you found out she was a mere puppet.

**A shell of what things could have been,**

You couldn't handle it, could you Roxas? You started to question everything within your existence; What your purpose in the Organization was, why Xion was ever created, what went on in Castle Oblivion.

**Tired bones beneath them, of guarded secrets all too frail,**

Then you decided to leave us. Turn your back on us. You have no idea how much that hurt me, to see you walking away from me. I remember what you said...

_"You can't turn on the Organization! You get on their bad side, and they'll destroy you!"_

_"No-one would miss me"_

You walked away before I could answer you. Why? If you'd only heard, maybe I could have stopped you leaving.

_"That's not true! ...I would."_

**Sad to think I never knew,**

There were many a time I wondered if you'd run back to me. Whether you left just to find your voice, whether your feelings had scared you. I guess I shouldn't have kept clinging on to that idea.

**You were searching for the words, for the moment to emerge,**

There was no guarantee you'd ever come back, but I waited anyway. My days were spent with my head in the clouds, picturing your face, the curve of your jawline, which I longed to kiss. My nights were spent clutching my pillow closely into my chest, dreaming of you in my arms, the sweet scent of your hair as it brushed against my cheek. But alas,

**The moment never came, you couldn't risk my fragile frame,**

And then I found out. It crushed me, bringing me to my knees at the very thought of it. Riku had beaten you, taken you away, handed you over to DiZ. The things that evil brute did to you...you forgot everything. Organization XIII, Kingdom Hearts, me...it all just became a mere dream to you. I tried to get through to you, trying to get you to remember.

**I would scream just to be heard, as if yelling at the stars,**

I didn't have much time. Sora was nearing completion fast. My visits to you became more and more frequent. But did you succumb? ...No, no you didn't...

**I was bleeding just to feel, you would never say a word,**

My attempts were all in vain. I was too late. Sora had awakened, I had to except the fact that I'd never see you again. Oh Roxy, the tears I shed that night...I've never wanted anything so much before that moment. Heck, even Kingdom Hearts didn't matter to me anymore. I just wanted you. I still want you, Roxas.

**Kept me reaching in the dark, always something to conceal,**

I decided to help Sora. I craved to be near you, and if that meant helping him, so be it. When I look at Sora, I see you, though Sora will never be you. His eyes...they're kinda different, not as sparkly as yours were. Still, he was the closest I was ever going to get to you. And when I saved him, it was for you. And when I died for him, it was for you...

**Then one day you stopped caring,**

**And began to forget why I longed to be so close,**

**And I disappeared into the darkness,**

**And the darkness turned to pain, and never went away,**

**Until all that remained, was buried,**

**Deep beneath the surface.**

It's pretty lonely here in the darkness. What I'd give to have you here beside me. I think I'd be able to bear this pitch black realm if you were here. I would tell how much you mean you to me, right here face to face, instead of saying all this to the nothingness, and hoping that it'll get to you. Then again, Sora has a lot of hair, even if this got to you, it'll take a few months just to make it through the masses of locks, ha ha. I'll leave you with this; Even when you turned your back on me, even when you forgot who I was, and most importantly, what crushed me the most, even when you couldn't learn to love me, I stilled loved you.

From the bottom of my non-existent heart,

Axel, your Flurry of Dancing Flames...


End file.
